North Korea, Best Korea!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
