this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Come on in and take your pants off
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