my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she smelled like a LAN party
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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