My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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