so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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