Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
