thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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