thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
