How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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