We just shotgunned beers for America
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
