you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
