ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
