You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
