I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
