i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
