White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
