Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I love having hate sex.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
