My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
