so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
