Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
