3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the day after is always just damage control
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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