dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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