Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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