why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
