Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
