apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
