Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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