One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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