i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
