420 ftw
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
