I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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