can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
