Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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