i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
