Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
