Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
