lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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