If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
