i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
