Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
