you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
