You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize