I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
