Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
