I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
