If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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