So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
