census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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