SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
