I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
