he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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